Something inside is really shutting me off.

the pic i wanted to post ytd :D

okay today was not a really awesome day, but well ~~~~~~~~~

hehe, look at me crazy hair aft taking down plaits ! xD

was quite bad mood so i went to run 1.2km, which is actually reallyreally short zzz. && THERES MATH TMR. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAA. LOL. IM SICK OF MATH. we have it practically everyday T_T . 

okay, somethings happened unknowingly to everyone, and no one expected people to think that way. okay, ya basically this is obvious okay. its to sandra sarah and lycia k. im not angry that you wan me to play along etc k. idk i just zzz about it. arghh. I THINK IM PARANOID, OHNO.

wa seriously eff this shyt. GAHHH. TMR IM GONNA GO AND BUY MADE IN CANDY . SERIOUSLY. IF NOT IM GONNA DIE OF STREE OR SMTH. ): .

choir has problems, my friends have problem ( at least that's what i think )  & WHAT'S WITH THIS JEALOUSY IM FEELING OVER EVERYONE D: . it's lyke i wan everyone to be mine and only mine. seriously. i think im jealous of people being happy. wtf is this. i lyke only can be happy with choir sec twos. and high and laugh lyke some crazy woman. fck this seriously.

hey thanks hotdog, idk if you are just talking to me cuz you have no one to talk to alr, cuz recently then you lyke keep talk to me. haha, at least someone turns to me ! <: . friday i try go okay ? but not cfm, cuz aft sch then v mafan D: . 

k bye.

Im tired of being tired.

wtf is this. cant upload pics. 
okay, omg i gained weight, seriously. fking fat now.

quite a okay day. had 2.4 run. shermaine counted for me only 4 rounds, i got kinda fedup. wasted my effort. 4 rounds 11min ++,  5 rounds 13 minutes liddat ba :D .

why cant people just have unlimited amount of energy. why do we die again and again. i realise i am always jumping between the good and bad or the advantages and disadvantages. but somehow, they always seem equal / balance. you know that feeling when you really can't decide smth and you feel lyke crying out and your heart is pounding so fast and your head is exploding? just lyke today. about choir auditions. i dunno what i wan. one side is, go, at least you have a try, even if you dun get in. other side is, dun go la, the seniors dun even need you, you go extra, later give him trouble or make them sound worse. then in the end, msyin left anyway. haha.

im tired of being tired. im tired of being alone. im tired of being me. but i am still me, and i cant change just so whatever way i wan. disappointed with myself. i know that i am different from last time. yea, i have changed, but i cant change to suit everyone. im sorry im not awesome. im sorry im not what you expect / wan me to be.

i think half my heart of choir died alr. hais. how to build it up again. but i lyke my level mates. omg they are great. maybe because i dunno them lyke really well. haha, but i lyke this feeling.

sometimes even when you meet up with your really close friend for after a while, both parties wun feel comfortable speaking to each other about personal stuffs anymore. i know that feeling.

im sad and i kinda hurt.

Strangers stab you in the front. Friends stab you in the back. Boyfriends stab you in the heart. But best friends only poke each other with straws .

hey awesome.

Since there is a reason to everything, what's the reason for meeting you?

aww, this pic so nice ! <: . bored dai now ): . OMG LYKE GONNA RAIN ALR. LTR GOING OUT LEY ): MEET CONSTANCESEAH <3 . HEHE. 

ytd went to school gonna try out for choir auditions with shiyuan keryn steffi and rachel. cuz seniors having their choir fulldressrehearsals then when msyin come she can audition us. we went to have our own practise :B . but quite slack ah , keke. had fun blahblah talked and high-ed lyke siao. LOL. i kept laughing for no reason :x . then hor. already 1230 then school need to close, ms yin no come. zzz. starting to get worried and fed up zzz. okay, then at the end, finally she come. she corrected seniors etc. then hor, she talk to top 6, THEN HOR SHE LEFT ALR. i was totally lyke wtf. dun need us can just say a not. wasted my 5 hours. seriously. -.- . ffed up alr. i think if audition also wun get in anyway. im so dumb. zzz.

then left school with genie and rachel, go clementi mall eat longjohnsilver. idc alr, fried food man tian fei, anyway no syf. -.- . then around 2.15 take train home, sandra kayyee sarah cheryl all at jurong east library, asked if i wanted to join them but i v no mood and fed up so just went home. use compcomp, around 5 plus went to sleep cuz too tired. then woke up this morning, cant believe i slept so long LOLOL.

mother gonna go and pay respects to my grandfather, hmm. bored alr. alone at home until 12 ! 

okay. BYE.

Maybe i was wrong.

final chance, final shot at syf. this saturday. conductor standard set very high alr. dun really have much hope. stressed, sore throat, lyke going KUA ALR. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.