Im tired of being tired.

wtf is this. cant upload pics. 
okay, omg i gained weight, seriously. fking fat now.

quite a okay day. had 2.4 run. shermaine counted for me only 4 rounds, i got kinda fedup. wasted my effort. 4 rounds 11min ++,  5 rounds 13 minutes liddat ba :D .

why cant people just have unlimited amount of energy. why do we die again and again. i realise i am always jumping between the good and bad or the advantages and disadvantages. but somehow, they always seem equal / balance. you know that feeling when you really can't decide smth and you feel lyke crying out and your heart is pounding so fast and your head is exploding? just lyke today. about choir auditions. i dunno what i wan. one side is, go, at least you have a try, even if you dun get in. other side is, dun go la, the seniors dun even need you, you go extra, later give him trouble or make them sound worse. then in the end, msyin left anyway. haha.

im tired of being tired. im tired of being alone. im tired of being me. but i am still me, and i cant change just so whatever way i wan. disappointed with myself. i know that i am different from last time. yea, i have changed, but i cant change to suit everyone. im sorry im not awesome. im sorry im not what you expect / wan me to be.

i think half my heart of choir died alr. hais. how to build it up again. but i lyke my level mates. omg they are great. maybe because i dunno them lyke really well. haha, but i lyke this feeling.

sometimes even when you meet up with your really close friend for after a while, both parties wun feel comfortable speaking to each other about personal stuffs anymore. i know that feeling.

im sad and i kinda hurt.